Sudu & Benang
Pengajaran yang tak ternilai bilamana jururunding boleh membawa perubahan yang besar terhadap mana-mana syarikat.

Minggu lepas, kami membawa kengkawan ke satu restoren baru, dan aku perasan yang pelayan kami meletakkan sudu di dalam poket bajunya. Ia agak pelik. Bila pelayan lagi satu membawa air kosong dan utensil, dia nih pun ada sudu dalam poket bajunya. Apalagi aku tengok sekeliling memang semua pelayan restoren ini letak sudu dalam poket baju mereka. Bila pelayan tadi datang membawa hidangan sup aku bertanya, “Kenapa dengan sudu tuh?”

“Sebenarnya”, dia menerangkan, “bos kami baru lepas mengupah juruperunding ABC untuk merombak perniagaannya. Selepas beberapa bulan mengkaji, mereka merumuskan sudu adalah utensil yang selalu terjatuh. Lebih kurang 3 sudu terjatuh setiap meja sejam. Jika kakitangan kami lebih bersedia, maka kami mampu mengurangkan trip pergi balik dari meja pelanggan ke dapur dan menjimat! kan 15 jam seorang setiap syif”.

Dah nak jadik cerita katakan, sudu aku terjatuh dan pelayan tadi telahpun mengantikannya dengan sudu di poketnya. “Nanti saya pergi ambil sudu bila masa saya perlu pergi ke dapur, lagipun buat apa nak habiskan masa sekarang”.

Aku amatlah kagum. Tak silap aku juga di zip seluarnya ada seutas benang. Sekali pandang, semua
pelayan restoren ini memakainya. Jadi sebelum pelayan tadi blah, aku tanya, “Tumpang tanya, boleh
tak kamu beritahu saya kenapa ada seutas benang di zip seluar kamu?”

“Boleh, apa salahnya!” Selepas itu dia merendahkan suaranya. “Tak semua orang perasan benang ni.”

“Jururunding tersebut juga mencadangkan yang kami boleh menjimatkan masa semasa ke tandas. Dengan mengikat benang ini di kepala anu kami, kami boleh menarik benang sahaja tanpa memegang anu kami, dengan ini, kami tidak perlu membasuh tangan sebelum keluar melayan pelanggan, ini dapat memendekkan masa sebanyak 76.39 peratus.. Aku bertanya ! lagi “Lepas awak keluarkan anu awak, macam mana awak memasukkan ia bal ik kedalam seluar?”

“Sebenarnya,” dia membisik, “saya tak tahu orang lain, tapi, saya gunakan sudu di dalam poket saya tadi.”

Intercom
A young guy drops off his girlfriend at her home after being outtogether on a date. When they reach the front door he leans up againstthe house with one hand and says to her, “How about a blowjob?”
“What! Are you crazy!”
“Don’t worry, it will be quick,” he ensures his girlfriend.
“No! Someone might see us…”
“It’s just a small blowjob,” he insists, “and I know you like it.”
“No! I said no!”
“Hun…don’t be like that.”
Suddenly,the girl’s younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown, withher hair a mess, and rubbing her eyes. She looks at them and smirks,”Dad says either you blow him, I blow him, or he’ll come downstairs andblow the guy himself….
but tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom.”

Tiger Wood
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to
consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband,
“I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin.”

The husband replies, “That’s no big thing in this day and age.”

The wife continues, “Yeah, I’ve been with one guy.”

“Oh yeah? Who was the guy?”

“Tiger Woods.”

“Tiger Woods, the golfer?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to
bed with him.”

The husband and wife then make passionate love.

When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

“What are you doing?” asks the wife.

The husband says, “I’m hungry, I was going to call room service and
get something to eat.”

“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”

“He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.”

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a
second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.

“Now what are you doing?” She asks.

The husband says, “I’m still hungry so I was going to get room service to
get something to eat.”

“Tiger wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?”

“He’d come back to bed and do it again.”

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one
more time.

When they finish he’s tired and beat. He drags himself over to the
phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, “Are you calling room service?”

“No! I’m calling Tiger Woods, to find out what’s PAR for this damn hole!”